maid's problem

sidneywong

Hi,

My maid & daughter (2 years old) loves each other very much. My kid likes the maid the most though I am a house-wife.


I have 2 questions:

1. My maid sometimes plays in these ways: take the thing from my kid's hand or stop her to walk. My maid feels it funny but my kid doesn't it it.  Then my kid yells or shows that she's not happy with it. Actually, I don't want my kid to yell but in most cases, I won't stop my maid. Because I want my kid face different people.

But will the "yell level" affect the kid's EQ ? OR I overworry. Pls adv, tks.

Well, sometimes my maid plays with her &  make my kid laugh a lot.

2. When my baby was born, I's sick & couldn't take care of her for 2 months. During that moment, my maid took care of her. So far, my maid feed my baby for the rice & the milk in the morning.

Besides, I am a person is quite serious & can't make the kid laugh as same as the maid does. So, my kid needs the maid more than me sometimes. It make me unhappy.

In my kid's mind, I am the number 2 while my maid is number 1.

Pls adv how I can change the situation.  

best regards,
Sidney

s1005959

Hi Sidney,

I think you should be really glad to have such maid.  My situation was completely different which made me change 10 maids within 1 year.  That was totally a nightmare.  If your maid can handle the kids so well, go out to take a part time job or some hobbies, have some dates with your hubble, or just to meet some old and new friends.  Just have some fun outside your home and you will become a person with more fun too.  You are always number 1 in your kids' mind in the long haul.  The maid will eventually go away but you will be there forever, even after you go to heaven.  So, don't be silly.  You are thinking too much!!  I wish I had a maid like yours who can handle the kids so very well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ikub08

Hi Sydney
Dont'be too worry. I came across the same case like you around 3 years ago. Now my daughter is 5 years old. The difference is I was not jealous at my maid and I'm not a housewife at that time. I'm that kind of mum who does not know how to make kids laughing. At that time, my maid is the number one in my daughter's mind and my hubby is the number two. If your maid does not treat you kid well, your kid can feel it. When she becomes elder, she will know you are really concerned and "over-worried" on her. I remember when she was 4 years old, she complained that my maid(same person) ignored her. She even asked me to change my maid if my maid had no improvement.  Now she loves me so much. I become the number one in her mind.

mrsclee

小朋友唔只需要一個照顧佢既人, 佢最需要一個愛佢既人.
佢仲細, 係呢個階段, 佢會好依附照顧佢既人. 你唔需要覺得唔開心 (雖然我知好難). 你有一個肯俾心機幫你湊女既工人, 你應該高興.

你話你唔識同個女玩, 其實, 所有你同個女一齊做既野, 都係同佢玩緊, 靜態既, 可以同個女讀下書, 砌下 puzzle/lego; 動態既, 同佢去公園玩滑梯, 同佢踩下三輪車, 佢都一樣會開心. 小朋友係好敏感, 佢會知道邊個"愛" 佢, 邊個照顧佢. 盡可能自己陪個女瞓, 我個人意見, 臨瞓呢段時間好 sweet, 同佢傾下計, 攬下佢, 佢會感受到.

fyi, 我有2個小朋友, 相差只隔一年, 細仔一直都好 rely on maid, 起初佢都係揀 maid 唔揀我, e+ 3歲, 佢知道, 姐姐係照顧佢日常起居, mami 返工佢至要姐姐陪 (我無同佢講過呢 d 野, 小朋友係 sense 到)

s0901477

　　我都有用印傭，要取長補短，她的長處有些是我沒有的．最重要是她愛囡囡，因為囡囡會知道的．
　　至於與你的關係，多與她玩，陪伴她，擁抱她，與她傾偈，．．．，即”親子時間”，相信也有幫助．
　　我會盡量在家的時間爭取與她相陪，堅持放工後雖然疲倦仍為她洗澡，ｂｂ期時餵奶，與她玩．．．，即放工後我主力湊囡囡，姨姨在這時候主理家事，例：煮飯，做家事．．．總之，我不在姨姨以照顧囡囡為主，我在家則我是主力，不可以倚賴姨姨，雖然有時候真係好累．．．還有一點，我覺得是很關鍵的，晚上囡囡與我睡同一房間，不是與姨姨同睡一房（若睡房太細，可能做不到；我的辨法是主人房改用細衣櫃－單門的窄身櫃），她會知道／分辨得到我是媽咪，是與姨姨有分別的．．．當然，會影響我每晚的睡眠質素．
　　呀！仲有，我出街時堅持我抱囡囡，不會因為疲倦交姨姨抱．．．
　　簡單來說，姨姨是幫工，不是代替媽咪的位置．．．做媽咪的也不可倚賴姨姨．
　　我相信關係是要長時間努力建立的．
　　每一天一點的努力，長遠必能改善你與囡囡的關係．
　　不要灰心！

yyyalice

Sydney,

      盡可能抽多些時間給囡囡。我不會與囡囡睡在一起，我擔心會影響大家的睡眠質素，但我亦很珍惜囡囡睡眠前的時間，所以我會陪她說故事，我會和她按摩，她很enjoy，她亦會說學校的事情給我知，我亦會說自己日間所發生的事情給她知，都頗溫馨！她現時是4歲10個月。然後我會坐在床邊等她入睡，之後我就返回自己的房間睡覺了。希望這些分享可以幫到妳。

sidneywong

Hi Everybody,

Tks a lot.

best regards,
Sidney